


Drama! On The Tourbus

by orphan_account



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: F/M, Gay Drama, Late Night Writing, M/M, dan's not interested, kenny's scarred for life, kinda suicidal brendon, pete's a dick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-20 13:11:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9492791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Just a little one shot I wrote when my best friend was begging for Brallon so yeah ... Dallon is angry at his wife who cheated on him, Brendon's mind is fucked up and they both just need someone to talk to.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cat__nevermind](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cat__nevermind/gifts).



> Before you read this, I should probably mention that I love Breezy Weekes (she's amazing).

"Dallon, Brendon is being a bitch!", Pete groaned, entering the back lounge and falling down onto the couch, face first.

"Isn't he always?", I asked, barely looking up from my phone on which I was texting with Patrick, basically asking him why Pete wasn't on the Fall Out Boy bus, but on ours.

"Yeah, but now he's asking for you."

"Ha! Loser!", Kenny giggled from his position on the floor, propped up against Dan's legs who wasn't paying attention to us at all.

"Fuck off, Kenny. And why didn't you just stay with him, Pete?"

"Dude, I was about to, but he kept asking for you. If your wife says someone else's name in bed during sex, do you stick around?"

I knew that comment wasn't meant to be rude, but it hurt. After all, I had just caught her cheating on me with some Justin Bieber look-alike. This time, Kenny sucked in a sharp breath and even Dan looked up from his phone for a second.

"Bad timing, bro", our drummer mumbled, before tuning all of us out again.

A look of realisation hit Pete's face, but before he could say anything or even worse, ask questions, I rose up and started to walk into the bunks part.  
"I'm checking on Brendon."

Pete was about to say something, when I quickly closed the goddamn door. I couldn't be bothered with conversation at the moment. Talk about your feelings and all that crap, bitch please, I didn't need that. Luckily, most people (except for Pete) knew that, so nobody followed me. I was left alone in the dim lights, until I remembered that Brendon should be here somewhere. Usually, he would make his presence known immediately, this silence was unlikely for him. Something was really off.

"Bren?"

Nothing happened.

"Brendon, come out you little shit! You're scaring me!"

"What do you want?", Brendon asked quietly, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Well, Pete said that you asked for me, so here I am", I explained calmly, pulling back the curtain of his bunk only to reveal his pale face and reddish eyes staring back at me. He looked sick. No, worse than that. He looked dead.

"What got to you, man?"

"Nothing. You can leave."  
"Nope, I cannot. I basically told Pete that Breezy cheated on me and I don't have the nerves to answer his questions."

"She cheated?"  
"No questions, Brendon, just tell me what's up with you? You look like someone beat you up and then a train crashed you."

"I would be dead then."  
"You look dead. Now, tell me why."  
Brendon shook his head, turning away so that his back was facing me.

"If you don't answer questions, I don't have to either."  
"Please, Bren, me not answering questions about my sex life isn't as important as you not talking about why you look so sick", I tried to argue with him. Not that it would be any use, but a man could try.

"You are married to her, Dallon!"

"Shut up!"

I flinched as soon as these words left my mouth. I didn't know why these words, the simply truth, could hurt so much, but they made me flip. But right now, Brendon was the last person I wanted to snap at. I couldn't see his face, but I was sure that he was in shock. He wasn't moving, I couldn't even say if he was still breathing.  
"I'm sorry", I mumbled, looking down to the ground.

"Don't be. You're right. I shouldn't have pointed that out. Sorry."

"It's fine."  
"You flipped."  
"It's fine."

Brendon looked like he was trying to think of an answer, but I didn't want to listen to it. Instead, I sat down on the edge of his bunk, glancing down at him and starting to play with his hair a little bit.  
"What are you doing?", he asked, clearly confused. Usually I wasn't the one to randomly touch his hair, but he didn't complain or pull back.

"It helps."  
"Alright."  
"But what happened to you, B, why won't you tell me?"

"It's not important", he mumbled, briefly looking at me.

"Why would you think that?"

"Pete left. I was too much of a bother." I was ready to flip again, but this time, only because of Pete. How could he, when Brendon was in such poor state of mind, just leave him alone by himself. Pete out of all people should've known better.

"Maybe he was just tired. And he's a dick. Don't always blame yourself for pissing him off, he's always pissed."

"I don't wanna bother you, too."  
"I ain't got more important things to do. Don't worry."  
"Breezy ..."  
"Can suck that stranger's dick. Please, Brendon, just tell me how to fix you."

"You can't."  
I laughed dryly, pulling my knees up so that I was completely sitting in his bunk, only centimetres away from him.

"I can't fix my relationship. I can't fix Pete's fashion choices. And I sure as hell can't fix you if you don't tell me! What are you so scared of? Why are you hesitating?"  
"It's just so stupid. Dallon, you ... you need to take care of yourself first."

"I'm a rock star. People expect me to do stupid things. So if you think that talking to you is stupid, I don't care. Distract me, Brendon."  
"You expect me to talk about a real life problem, but there is none. No anxiety attacks, no fights, nothing. I have no fucking clue what is going on at the moment. One second, I'm completely fine, the next one I wanna fucking kill myself. My mind is thinking about long lost memories, that I wanted to forget forever. I feel the need to drink myself unconscious, to take as many drugs as I possibly can in one night and to jump off a bridge. I want Ryan, but he's part of these dark memories. I want Jon, but he's only gonna make me drink and smoke until I get into a hospital and I fucking want Spencer to stop me from everything. I know that they aren't here. I know they don't come back. And it's killing me. I like having you around, Dallon, but these are the guys that I made that fucking band with. I feel like now that they are gone, my soul is gone, too. But I know that I still have a band, I have Kenny, Dan and you. I still have Zack. And the fact that I know I have you guys and still want them back makes me want to die even more. I have no fucking clue what I'm still doing here and apparently, Pete doesn't either."

By the end of his speech, Brendon had started sobbing uncontrollably, so I gathered his fragile body in my arms, holding him as close as possible. Brendon only clung to my t-shirt, whispering broken apologies over and over again. I knew, that it was his anxiety talking, but the thought of losing him scared me.

"Bren ... first of all if it affects you like this, then it is a real problem, don't talk that down. Damn, you should've told me immediately ... I know you miss the old band, and I won't ever blame you for it, okay? It's normal to miss old friends, even if you aren't all alone. Don't ever feel bad for wanting to have them back in your life, that's completely understandable and we ain't gonna give you any shit for it. Please, it pains me to see you like this, just talk to us when you need to and don't let it consume you. I don't want to find you dead one day ... don't do this to me!"

Brendon stared at me for a second, tears still running down his cheeks, before he pushed himself up until his lips met mine. The kiss didn't last for long, before I broke it, looking away from him.

"Too soon? Sorry, I thought you wanted distraction ..."

"It's okay."  
"Stop saying that."  
"I just need a sec ..."

Carefully, Brendon placed a warm hand on my shoulder, pulling me backwards so that I was leaning against him, before he pecked my lips softly again.

"Don't think of that bitch."  
"I was concentrating on you, but I guess I have to imagine Kenny sitting here ..."  
That was when I noticed Kenny standing in the small way between the bunks, staring at me in pure shock.

"Look, I'm sorry you both feel shitty, but please don't think of me during sex. It's embarrassing."

Brendon just glanced at me and started laughing. That second, I knew everything was gonna be just fine.


End file.
